Some things in the Bible really do seem archaic, mysterious, and they makes me feel “not Christian enough” because of how little I understand of it.
Sometimes you get just get a long string of those and coupled with tons of questions, anger, and frustration, it can really stop you from reading altogether. Which I did. For a long while. A really long while.
Recently, I have been trying to find my momentum again and it has been admittedly hard. Though the criticisms have been curtailed a bit, I am far from being in the clear. However, a few factors are slowly drawing me back.
- I am much less happier than I was back then when I was rooted.
- Though I slowly started to feel the freedom from the laws of the Word, I also slowly started to feel the bindings of the world. Perhaps this is what moved me back to number 1.
- I like myself better back then than I do now.
And lastly, 4. I like Jesus’ life.
Amidst all the strange elusive stories, the commands and the warnings, there’s still the way he led his life.
Like washing his disciples’ feet.
You just don’t see that in the world. A man of great power and respect washing his followers’ feet. Who does that? I’m not talking about washing each others’ feet or doing it in some ritual for missions training, but what Jesus did. A king washing his subjects’ feet. Who does that?
I really want to be like that man.
Peter said, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
I feel that passion now as I say such things, as I want back in on the Christian life. I always feel like it has to be so dramatic. Of all the ways I have rebelled in the last months, I feel like there has to be some sort of dramatic entry back. A huge sobbing cry of repentance, a painful penitence of sorts.
But there isn’t. Just the washing of feet is enough, I am assured. A simple confession will more than suffice.
yay #4